Many boys are prone to encounter this situation in the process of chasing girls. They feel that they have a good chat with the girl on WeChat, and they think that the girl is also interested in him, so they immediately invite the girl out, but the girl just can’t make a date. Girls, what does this mean? Why do girls want to chat with you but can't date you? What should you do if you encounter this situation?
1. Girls can’t make a date but have a chat mentality
If a girl is willing to chat with you, it proves that the value you bring to her has reached the point where she can chat with her on a daily basis, for example, you can accompany her. To kill boring time, you can soothe her heart and improve her original sad and depressed mood, etc. But you may not be able to ask her out because your value is not high enough for her to date you.
What I often say to boys: Don’t always focus on girls when chatting, and don’t put all the spotlight on them. For girls, chatting requires you to understand the girl's information, establish comfort and intimacy, and show your own value to attract the other party.
Otherwise, while chatting, you will become a chat machine for others to kill boring time, or an "emotional trash can" to vent their unhappiness. Once your positioning in her heart becomes like this, she will Why do I need to come out to see you?
2. How to ask girls out through chat
1. Learn to show your value with high emotional intelligence
When it comes to showing value, many boys start from The extreme of "kneeling and licking" jumped to the extreme of "pretending to be cool". You want to show your value, but you show it too straightforwardly. You tell the other person what kind of house and car you have, what education you have, what your income is, what you usually wear, and how awesome you used to be. In addition to making the other person feel " Apart from "you can really pretend", there will be no other favorable impressions.
There are two keywords in female psychology: "enjoyment" and "vigilance": girls do like men who are better than themselves, but she needs to slowly discover your excellence. If If you tell her directly, not only will she not believe you, but she will also become wary, thinking that you are deliberately enlarging your "wings" to attract her.
Girls, as passive players in mate selection, instinctively have a set of rigorous "screening mechanisms" to help them filter out Get rid of the flashy men and keep the truly capable members of the opposite sex as mates. Your "pretending" obviously violated the girl's filtering instinct.
Women are despised if they have no strength and are high-profile. Women are uneasy if they are strong but not restrained. Only high-quality boys who are strong and restrained are truly admired by girls.
Therefore, the best way to display is to reveal it indirectly and reveal it bit by bit in multiple times. Don't be eager for quick success or excessive expansion.
2. Implant fuzzy invitationAppointment
What is a vague invitation? For example, "Let's eat together when we have time" and "I'll take you to play next time." You will find that these words seem to be invitations, but in fact they do not finalize the specific things.
What are the benefits of vague invitations? First of all, since this kind of invitation does not settle on anything specific, it gives girls enough buffer room, so that most girls will not refuse you.
Secondly, when you say a vague invitation to a girl, it will implant in the girl's mind that you will meet. This will make her mentally prepared, and you will pave the way for a formal invitation later.
Many brothers are rejected when they go out to date girls, often because the girls think it is too sudden. Their mental activity is like "Huh? Are we going to meet so suddenly? Let's forget it." She is not mentally prepared enough for your meeting, so she will subconsciously reject you.
Therefore, before making a formal invitation, it is necessary to make a vague invitation to a girl. You need to let the girl know that you intend to meet her.
Then when your vague invitation is approved, you have to make a definite invitation.
A definite invitation means to make sure that you are going on a date, including the time, place and event.
Remind the boys again: As long as a girl does not explicitly agree to your invitation, but says something like "I will go if I am free" or "Let's decide this first, and we will make it more specific when the time comes." However, it cannot be regarded as a definite invitation, and girls may change their minds.
So don’t have too high hopes. The greater the hope, the greater the disappointment. When the time comes, your dissatisfaction will make the relationship more rigid.
When a girl is willing to go out on a date with you alone, it means that the girl has a higher liking for you, and she has the idea of ??developing a closer relationship with you.
